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The other day I heard a couple of Christians discussing which was right about the kind of music they used in their churches.

It was a fairly interesting discussion they were having. It left me thinking how stupid Christians are.

One of them went on and on about how it was wrong to use musical instruments in church. He said it was wrong to add anything to the bible, and used that as the entire basis for his argument. He said that the only instances of worship that were cited in the New Testament didn’t use any instruments. So, since they didn’t use instruments, it was wrong to use instruments.

The second guy kept bringing up the Old Testament. He said the Psalms were full of using instruments. But, this didn’t carry any weight with the first guy. He continued saying the Old Testament didn’t count any more. He said only the New Testament counted for Christians.

So, the whole time, these two guys went back and forth trying to convince each other which was right.

Well, the whole thing was completely silly to me. “Aren’t they both Christians,” I thought? Wasn’t the whole point of what they were supposed to be doing being completely destroyed by how they were acting?

I was left thinking how much they were hypocrites. They supposedly have this great news to share, and they weren’t sharing anything except how stupid Christians are.

I didn’t say anything at the time, but I kept thinking about it.

They were both absolutely wrong in my opinion.

The first guy said it was wrong to use instruments because that was outside the example in the New Testament. Well, if that’s what makes it wrong, then they better not be using any electronics to amplify their voices in his church. That would certainly be outside the example. I bet there weren’t any microphones in the bible. They better not be using any projectors or TV’s in his services. I’m sure those weren’t around either. Can he think one enhancement to the voice is different to another enhancement to the voice? Anyways, the whole point of his argument becomes rather ridiculous in about half a second of thought.

Also, I seem to remember where Jesus said the Word of God would never pass away. Yes, he said that as recorded in the New Testament, but, at the time he said it, the New Testament didn’t even exist. We didn’t have the New Testament. It wasn’t written yet. And it wasn’t put together as a unit until the Council of Nicea in A.D. 325. So, Jesus was surely talking about what we call the Old Testament. That was all that existed. So, if he said the Word wouldn’t pass away for him, these stupid Christians should follow their leader.

Ok, the second guy was being absolutely judgmental and over-bearing about the whole thing. So, it wouldn’t matter if he were right or wrong. He was still dead wrong.

After giving it more thought, I’ve realized how I don’t have an argument to stand on either. Wasn’t I doing the exact same thing those stupid Christians were doing by judging them and calling them hypocrites?

My whole point is one of tolerance. Yes, there are right things and there are wrong things. Whether we all believe them or not doesn’t make them any more right or wrong. Anyone that is honest with himself, and chooses with integrity to what he believes is right will have to stand before God on that basis. No one stands or falls on the basis of your or my judgment.

We can share beliefs and go on. Each person’s honesty with the facts they have will be their guide and their judge.

Should we argue, or discuss our differences? I think only where it is profitable. If it is a vain discussion, it does nothing but separate people further. This is true in every arena of life.

So, show a little charity when it comes to other people. Be honest with things you encounter.

If you are wrong, then get right. It’s really pretty simple.

Regards.

My daughter has always hated school with a passion. I’ve always told her it was because she hated responsibility and to get over it. But this was more than just a passing whine with her. She would actually get physically down and depressed over it when there were added pressures like a paper or big exam.

So, brilliant me, I told her one year that I really didn’t care what grades she got. As long as she did her best.

Yes, you’re right. That was fairly dumb. All her grades dropped off a bit.

However, in the scheme of things, I have to step back a step or two for questions like this.

Is it the goal or the journey?

Well, most people with a six figure income would say it’s about the goal. Most the folks without a six figure income wouldn’t say it’s about the goal or it’s about the journey. They weren’t really actually thinking about it in the first place. Thus, no six figure income.

Now, after they finally did see the guy with the six figure income driving his sweet little baby down the street, they look on with envy–trying to figure some way to get the six figure income. The scramble starts.

So, the guy who set goals and got the six figure income does what? Obviously he notices the envy. So, guess what he does? He offers the little guy instruction in how to get what he has. In fact, without any effort whatsoever, he can deliver an automated system requiring no work that will make anyone a rich man. And it’s free to join! < <<—-See. I’ve even got one!!

Does it work? Sure! But mostly for the guy with the six figure income!

What’s my point?

Well, at the end of the day, we all want to have it all. But, at the end of the same day, most of us aren’t willing to pay the price.

I make a comfortable income. I pay my bills. I pretty well live at the edge of my means with a little left to save. If I lost my job or couldn’t work, I would be devastated in just a few months. My point is, I couldn’t just drop what I’m doing to do what I liked. I have responsibilities that won’t allow me to follow any dream that might still be lingering.

So, what did I tell my daughter?

I told her to always pursue what she loved doing and to hope that the path would bring an income. I told her this would keep her happy whether she had money or not. AND, if she started life like this, and always lived within her means, she would never be trapped in a job with no way out.

Boy was that dumb. She has a group of people that pay her to do things for them and works on the side doing things with the youth at a very large church. Basically she gets paid to go to church, and paid to help her friends. Hmm, maybe not so dumb after all.

So, which is it? I think we all have a false sense that money will bring happiness. It may bring more toys, but toys just leave us wanting more.

“Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” lofty words. Hopeful words. Life and liberty are mostly givens in the USA. Happiness, which really matters at the end of the day, isn’t any more a promise in the USA than it is in any other country.

No, for that you need contentment first. So, happiness is really a result of contentment. And, you’ll find nothing and no one can give you contentment. No. You alone can do that.

I’m going to tell my daughter to practice contentment. Yes, you heard correctly. I said “practice contentment.” Contentment can’t be given and it can’t be taken. When practiced, it brings happiness. Now, that’s not so dumb.

Regards.

Do you remember that kid, usually a girl [sorry ladies], when you were in school that always managed to be sitting next to the teacher’s desk? They were always performing little tasks and getting little perks. They were the acting class tattle when the teacher was out of the room.

That’s right, we called them the teacher’s pet.

Well, out here in the real world, that kind of activity isn’t called the teacher’s pet anymore. No. It’s called getting ahead. It’s how you make more money. It’s called doing what your boss asked you to do.

Now, there’s nothing worse than a stupid suck up. Don’t misunderstand. I mean a suck up who is stupid. They’re just sickening, both to their co-workers and to the people they try to suck up to. I’m a supervisor where I work. I know all too well how ridiculous a stupid suck up is. Don’t read any further if you’re just plain stupid. You’ll just be a stupid suck up.

What a concept. Do what the boss asks, and you get paid. Wow! The more you do what the boss asks, the more you get paid. Astonishing.

Yes, the teacher’s pet–now, the suck up–soon to be the supervisor, the manager, or, if any actual skills go along with the suck up, the new VP.

The information I am about to share with you can be quite dangerous. First of all, because it will help you get ahead. But, secondly, because getting ahead without skills is usually only temporary. This will force you to move from company to company and from city to city to stay ahead of the ultimate death spiral should you remain beyond your skills. This latter tactic of job surfing requires at least a rudimentary level of language and writing skills to develop good resume and job interview abilities. I’ll cover these later in another article.

So, as pertains to getting ahead where you are, here it is. Realize this. Use it.

Anytime you start working at a company, you start out with a certain amount of change. Let’s say we all start out with a buck fifty.

Now, that’s not much, but it doesn’t take much.

Anytime you do something noticeable, and good, you get a little change. Say, a nickel. But, anytime you do something noticeable, and bad, you lose a bunch of change. Say, fifty cents.

Further, if you continue to do noticeable, and bad things, you lose change at an increasing rate. Whereas, continuing to do noticeable, and good things, has a smaller increase, but does multiply a little just the same.

I’m sure you’ve heard or have been told of someone saying something like this: “I don’t understand it. I’ve been with that company for several years. Why would they fire me for such a small thing?”

Here’s where understanding the change allegory helps. This person simply ran out of change. A quarter here. A quarter there. Eighty cents over here. Boom. One little thing, only a dime, but, they were out of change.

OK, there’s quite a lot I could say about the dynamics of gaining and losing change. For this discussion, I only need you to understand one element of it.

Notice above, I kept writing noticeable good things and noticeable bad things. This is the one single difference between being a good suck up or a stupid suck up. Making your positive contributions noticeable to the people who matter is the absolute key to getting ahead. A person of only average ability can move up the ladder if they can practice this well.

Any time you make a mistake, you have to downplay it to keep it less noticeable. Do not attempt to hide mistakes. NO. The only way to redeem a noticeable mistake is to be as involved in finding it as possible. The full redemption is to be the one to solve or repair the mistake as well as is humanly possible and to make this as noticeable as possible.

I can’t iterate the word ‘noticeable’ too much here.

Now, here is the central concept of this whole discussion. Get this, and it will all fall into place for you. Bad things are almost always noticeable, even when they are small. But, good things are rarely noticeable unless they are huge. So, the all important strategy for success comes from recognizing and utilizing the best platform and the best approach to making good things get noticed by the right people without being a stupid suck up.

This will be different in every field and for each kind of position and work.

Here’s an example:

You receive a praise from a client in an email. Forward it to your boss, or bosses. Forward it to your HR for internal publication, if you do that, and if appropriate. Simply type something like: Thought you would appreciate this positive note from John Doe. Putting the right note in is the key to success.

Another finer related point to this is the concept of attachment and detachment. Simply put, find ways to keep yourself attached to positive things and detached or in the middle of fixing bad things–whereas a negative can become a huge positive. Most successful, active people aren’t perfect. They’re just really good at noticing and fixing mistakes quickly before they become destructive and making sure they get noticed on the sweet end of the deal.

So, make more money. Move up the ladder. Keep it positive and turn negatives into positives.

Do what your boss wants. What a concept.

Regards.

Have you ever sat thinking about something that happened to you in the past, even years ago, and felt all the emotions of the moment all over again?

Boy, I sure have. And that remembered moment can ruin the day I’m having now! Is that not bizarre?

I can remember when I was around twelve years old, before my voice changed, and I was singing in a group. We were at camp standing around a campfire. There was this really, really cute girl in front of me. She turned around and said to me, “You have a very nice voice.” Ok, maybe I was a late bloomer for one, but I know by what I said to her that I was a complete idiot.

I responded to her, “I know,” with all the graces of a complete moron.

What on earth was I thinking?

Was I always that stupid?

What ever happened to “Thank you,” or “You’re very kind,” or even “Well, you’re very cute. What’s your name?”

For crying out loud, I could have said almost anything EXCEPT what I did say!

So, any time I want to feel absolutely ridiculous, I can just think of that moment. It’s amazing how emotions work in the first place. It’s even more amazing how they work with our memories–and that they can be just as powerful when the moment is remembered.

Power and Control come to my mind when I think about emotion. Emotion can be completely crippling. It can also drive us to the point that it even alters our personality.

Most of us have a certain level of confidence. Some more, some less. It is wired in directly with how we are feeling about ourselves at any given point. It establishes the life background of healthy pride that carries us. When it is damaged or attacked, it shakes us at the very core of our emotional stability.

I call it my stupid button. Do NOT press my stupid button.

I can be having an entirely un-eventful day, or even a great day, and have it totally changed when my stupid button is pressed.

My stupid button is wired directly to both my established level of confidence and my personal pride. When you press my stupid button, both of these core elements in my stability are attacked simultaneously. This triggers the emotion that we commonly call embarrassment.

Well, being embarrassed by itself is one thing. But FEELING embarrassed because someone made us feel stupid, consequently shaking our very foundation, is like pushing the last radioactive rod into the reactor. If something isn’t done quickly, there will be an explosion.

This is where I’ve told people things like, “Go outside and practice falling down. I’ll be out in a minute,” and I wasn’t joking. This will take a full grown man back to a teenager in a chest pushing contest of, “come on, punk. Let’s go punk.”

So, don’t make me stupid.

Why am I sharing this? Because, this isn’t just true at work. This isn’t just true playing your favorite sport. This isn’t just true in a classroom. This isn’t just true in a fight or a debate [often the point of a debate].

This is most true with those you love.

Indeed, the most hurt, the worst fights, the most damage I can remember in my marriage was a direct consequence of pressing my wife’s stupid button.

Now, we could all argue that we should have better self control. The difficulty here is our relationships are the places we have made ourselves vulnerable. The closer the relationship, the more vulnerable we are. And, a truly loving marriage even paints a perfect target in the dead center of our stupid buttons. We know it all, and we know how to press it just right.

I have ruined some of the best times with my wife in the past by pressing her stupid button. I often interact with friends by having to be saying comical things in a conversation. When I meet new people, I try even harder to make things fun with laughter and light-heartedness. So what comes out the easiest? Where do any comedian’s jokes come from? Friends, family, life, and experience are the sources of all our good stuff.

It’s rather incredible more public comedians aren’t maimed, hurt, and killed by their loved ones. Their loved ones are so often the center of their quips and routines. The same goes for preachers. I guarantee Sunday lunch has had it’s share of the wife’s scorn for words that she knows he should never have made public–and which he is very sorry he did.

So, guard your words. Practice keeping your mind a couple of phrases ahead of your mouth.

And, where your wife is concerned, don’t you dare push that stupid button. Believe me. It will ruin your day. It will ruin your night. It can ruin the next several days and nights. It’s just plain stupid.

Find some new material.

Regards.